RSVP Rundown

Many people have questions about how to phrase their RSVP cards for their bar and bat mitzvahs. Here are some wording examples and tips:

Traditional RSVP 

The favor of your reply is requested by the eighth of September

Name(s) _____________________

___ Number attending services and luncheon

___ Number attending evening reception

___ We must regretfully decline

Additional family members are welcome to join us for the ceremony and luncheon.

Guest comments:

or you can be creative and spell out the child's name with the first letter of each line (here's an example with HANNAH). You can make it rhyme if you want to get extra fancy schmancy:

Hannah's Bat Mitzvah will be here soon!

A special day on the eighth of June.

Never would I miss such a wonderful celebration! _______

No, can't make it, I'll be on vacation __________

A list of those attending go here ___________

Hope that we'll see you, we hold you so dear! 

 General RSVP card tips:

1. Make sure you put return postage on the RSVP cards to ensure that they are actually mailed back to you!
2. Consider using a postcard instead of a note card with an envelope--you'll save a bit on postage.
3. Make the RSVP date around 4-5 weeks prior to your event. Remember, you still will have up to 20% of guests who won't have sent in their cards by the RSVP date (especially kids), and it will take you a while to track them all down, so give yourself some extra time.
4. On the name line, use the word "Name(s)" instead of "M______". Many people don't understand that the M_____ is for Mr./Mrs./Ms., and they may not write their name on that line. Then you'll have no idea who the card is from.
   
5. I added the "Additional family members are welcome to join us for the ceremony and luncheon" line on my RSVP card to make it clear that people who were not listed on the invitation envelope were certainly most welcome at the ceremony/luncheon, but NOT at the dinner reception. This is the number one problem that people complain about when receiving their RSVP cards in the mail, and it leads into potentially awkward situations with guests. For example, the entire family may think they are invited to the evening reception when only their child was invited (or want to bring their kids when only THEY were invited). Many don't realize the cost per person of the evening reception, and make the wrong assumption. With this line on my card, all my guests understood what the protocol is for the affair (remember, many of the people you are inviting may not have ever been to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah before, and they may be unfamiliar with the traditional customs and etiquette).
   

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